"Smile."
As a graduate student in clinical mental health counseling, one of my favorite theories is Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. According to Erikson, there are 8 psychosocial stages of development that each person goes through over the course of his/her life.
As I have seen personally and for other people, being optimistic, thinking positively, and thinking big can feel more difficult with each psychosocial stage as we face many challenges and obstacles. Putting it bluntly: failure hurts. Failure isn't fun. It stinks. In struggling and failing, we often lose optimism, positive thinking, and big thinking. How can we thrive if we cannot survive?
My transition from predominantly business work to predominantly counseling work began during my days as an MBA graduate student 9 years ago. One of my organizational development (OD) professors told us the story of her deciding to pursue a doctorate and become a professor. For her, she turned to a childhood box with different mementos of success and happiness. The answers she needed were inside this box of memories--which tapped into her internal thoughts and feelings.
Yes, some dreams come and go. Yes, there are some limitations to what anyone can do. I will say:
"Sometimes you have to let go of some dreams so that other dreams can come true."While we have to let go of some dreams, we really need to grab on to other dreams. These dreams are a reflection of our true core selves. In following these particular dreams, we are offering everything we are to the world around us. As my professor showed to our class, her gift of teaching came from the evolution of childhood dreams about academics, education, and connecting with other people.
As an 18-year-old freshman/first-year student in college, I wrote a few quotes down during a group reflection. One quote is pictured at the top of this post. Here is another:
Personally, I have learned over time that my smile is a gift I have to offer to the world. I've heard compliments in many different environments from colleagues, clients, and others that my smile and positive attitude have made their day. Even in the face of a tough day, I will still find a reason to smile.
Yes, life is hard. At times, life hurts. However, when life gets difficult, never hesitate to listen to self-discovered wisdom from your younger self.
Smile. Think positively. Think big.And, in turn:
Speak positively and do positively.Or, for the Boy Meets World and Girl Meets World fans in the audience, as George Feeny and Cory Matthews would say:
"Dream. Try. Do Good."The world can always use people who dream, try, and do good.
3 books I would recommend for positive thinking and dreaming:
1) The Magic of Thinking Big - by David J. Schwartz, PhD
Recommended to me during an interview for an insurance sales position in 2010. Read it in 2010.
2) The Dream Manager - by Matthew Kelly
Recommended to me by an MBA panelist in 2008. First read it in 2010. Loaned a hard copy to a business colleague and never got it back. Since then, purchased an ebook version and re-read it in 2017.
3) The Last Lecture - by Randy Pausch
Read it in 2015. Have watched the video multiple times. Endorsed by multiple professors I have met, including in business and counseling.